I can't...

I can't.  I'm so lost and alone.  The divorce with the Moose is dragging on.  And I thought, I found someone.  We meshed, he was there.  But the further I sink, the further he withdraws.  I am attached and the silence hurts.  I am afraid to reach out.  I am afraid that this is all in my head.  I can't tell what is real.  I don't know if he cares as much as I do.  He said he did, in the beginning.  Maybe I was just something new and the shine has worn off.  I don't know anymore.  I can't ask...its annoying ME, that I need his reassurance...it has to annoy him.  I'm trying to give him space.  I don't want to chase him off.  I think the damage is already done.  He wouldn't want someone like me anyway and who knows if it would ever happen.  I can't do this.  I'm beyond broken and I'm tired of all of this.  I'm so tired and I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm going to break Abby.  I give up.